A while back I started listening to this Taiwanese indie-group called sodagreen (蘇打綠), and what I’ve heard so far is very promising. It’s the lyrics that make the difference in their music, just like Mayday (五月天).
And it’s also with this song’s lyrics – 是我的海- that I am reflecting, once more, on friendships and life. Let’s take a look…
Issue 1. Friends and their love interests -
I like listening to what my friends have to say about the people they like. It’s like seeing a flower bloom, when you first inspect a hidden bud and see it growing gradually. I remember sharing my love interests with my sister, staying up until late and talking about how cute or what an ass a potential guy was. And this is what I do with my girlfriends, too, as I listen to what they have to say about their love interests. It reminds me of the things I used to do with my sis. But then these relationships can turn ugly, as our human emotions war with each other and they turn into a cat-fight. I hope my girls and I will remember one thing: Friends remain. We have gone through a lot to become friends, and if anything bad ever happened among us, remember that our anger or our jealousy will only make us miserable.
Issue 2. Clashing Attitudes -
I am a believer that in any relationship, there will always be a giver and a receiver. That extends to friendships as well. But when the balance is offset with one person taking too much or the other being unwilling to give more, then we have clashing attitudes. And this is worst when it happens to girls because the vindictive factor exponentially grows. I hate using the reasoning that because we are women we then are all spiteful. I don’t believe in that lie, but I believe that women are more prone to visible outbursts of jealousy and selfishness than men. My advice to my girls and to myself is to be mindful of our words and actions because we are more susceptible to them than our male friends. If you are having a bad day, please say so. Otherwise, I’d think you were mad at one of us for doing the wrong thing or saying the wrong password. That is, tell us why you are being a bitch. Not everyone can figure it out unless it is said.
Issue 3. Remorse and Forgiveness-
We are humans. I remember my friend saying that if I feel like a bad person, I shouldn’t grind myself too much about it because I am only human. I make mistakes, I get jealous, I get competitive, I get bitchy. But then I also have remorse. I am aware that I can hurt other people with my attitude, and I also have a conscience that will tell me to apologize to them. If I ever hurt you with my actions, please forgive me. I feel miserable acting so, and I apologize for being a pain. I honestly didn’t mean to. I hope you too will self-reflect and think about your actions.
I am not perfect. I reflect on my actions so I can becomes less selfish and more giving, less hypocritical and more honest. But I have a long way to go because I can’t control my faults. It takes a lot of strength and will-power to correct them, and I get frustrated when I can’t. Girls, please know that I’m trying hard to become a better person.
